The thing is this, whether it’s cuddling or some other aspect of your sexual relationship, your partner will likely never be precisely who you imagined he or she would be. And although change can be great and certainly possible, it doesn't always happen. I'm not talking about being a doormat to your partner’s wishes or accepting that the Sex has suddenly vanished from your relationship. Let go of the fantasySex is not what you see in a romantic comedy or a pornographic film. And, more often than not, it’s not what you experienced at the beginning of a long-term relationship. Sex is two people coming together on their own terms in a real way. It’s what happens between your own sheets that counts. CompromiseIf cuddling’s a big one for her and ditching the flannel nightgown is a big one for him. He’s sure to happily hang in till she falls asleep and surely she’ll be up for wearing something to bed that’s a little less grandma and a little more “just married” if that will bring the spark back. Fantasies are not just about far flung scenes with costumes and props. The first step, of course is sharing your fantasy with your partner. If your partner doesn't know what your ideal is, how can he or she embody it. Then the trick is to put that fantasy into play in a way that both partners can live with. If there really is something that he or she longs to do, why not give it a whirl. And, you might be surprised, you both may discover something that you’d like to make a part of your regular repertoire. Build your fantasy with wordsSometimes it’s less about the doing and more about the putting it out there. Talking about what you want to do with one another can be as sexy and exciting as actually doing it. The old routine might seem a whole lot more fulfilling when it’s charged with thoughts of things you’d never really want to do but that are a whole lot of fun to daydream about. Make reality your friendWe all tend to become bored with what we have and long for what we don’t. But when was the last time you really took stock of the sexual relationship you and your partner do have. She may not want to work her way through the Kama Sutra. But does she take her time doing the things in bed that you like best. The point is this, it might be that giving up your fantasy is not the ticket, but tweaking it is. More often than not, it doesn’t go that way at all. In so many other aspects of our lives, we accept those discrepancies. But, for some reason, when it comes to sex, we want what we want. Well, in most cases that leads to nothing but disappointment. So instead of begrudging what you’ve got, why not take action and find the kind of satisfaction and peace you had when your relationship was new. Take a look at what you’ve got and compare it to what you want. Kama Sutra